Twin Park Bridge Beatings

“We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you an important news bulletin: Over a half a dozen people have been brutally injured since the Twin Park Bridge beatings began two weeks ago. Their injuries are so severe that many of the victims are still hospitalized under intensive care. The two victims well enough to speak to the police have been of no help to the authorities, as they have been unable to give any identifying information about the perpetrators. The only consistent report we’re getting involve glowing teeth.

Authorities are urging all citizens to avoid the five mile radius around the bridge. They have also issued a curfew for this area at night. If you have any information regarding the beatings, call the crime line at 1-555-55C-RIME. That’s 1-555-552-1463. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.”

Harold, the TV reporter with the greasy slicked back hair and the mega-watt smile, adjusted his tie and turned to his co-anchor. “Glowing teeth, can you believe that, Linda? They must have really been knocked silly from those beatings if they’re reporting glowing teeth. Teeth don’t glow.”

“Harold? The camera is still rolling,” Linda said, pointing at the camera.

“Ooops. Sorry about that folks.”